I just wanted to check in with y’all and let you know that after a grueling 18-hour journey, I’m back in [cold west coast city]. I got home yesterday, but was so tired I simply went straight to bed.
I had to fly three legs, and so getting through Miami on Monday — with Isaac about to hit the Gulf Coast — wasn’t easy. I was nervous after our “landing” in Miami, but turns out my connection to Dallas was delayed by several hours. By that time, we were able to get the HELL out of there in between the bands of rain, en route to Dallas where we’d spend another hour or so on the runway before taking off for the west coast. Whew. Just thinking about it makes me tired all over again.
Speaking of tired, I am. Very. BUT, I’m on day 11 and maintaining. I really want to make it past 60 days this time (remember, I caved on 61 a few weeks ago). Fortunately, I was able to get a lot of “paperwork” done today, mostly paying the bills and getting the mail — my PO box was overflowing after 12 weeks on the road — and I’ve got the next three days booked solid with work. Yes, I have three full days and then another month’s worth (on and off, but the pay will add up to adequate) of FREELANCE work. Check off a major goal!
I feel pretty good about what I’ve accomplished this summer. And, in order to not drink tonight — I, gulp, bought a bottle of red at Trader Joe’s this afternoon — I’m going to make a list of these items. I guess I just have the need to accomplish, and if that’s what it takes for me to not drink, so be it. And in any case, most of us are here to work; that’s what we do, that’s what we need, that’s what drives us. Maybe I’ll be off on another leisure trip soon, but right now, I’m happy to have something to carry me through to my SECOND day 14 (and beyond) of sobriety.
1. Moved out of my place in [cold west coast city] (basically) = sorted, packed, and shipped almost everything that I shipped to myself two summers ago from [cold east coast city] back to [cold east coast city]
2. Found a sublet (no slight task) in [cold east coast city], flew there, received my shipped items, and stored them in my storage unit = all my stuff is in one place, the place I think I’m most likely to call “home home” for the next several-to-many years…
3. Lived in [cold east coast city] for 6 weeks = the goal was to go back and live there for a while, so I could one, get a taste of life there now and if I really do want to move back, and two, follow up on some freelance contacts
4. Found freelance science writing work, met an editor(s), exchanged many emails, signed a few contracts, and lined up PAID freelance editing work = I am now officially freelancing for science magazines and biotech companies (one of each, but hey, it’s a start; I got my first payment direct deposited the other day)
5. Went to a friend’s wedding in Seattle, and stayed sober during = yay
6. Lived in [beautiful island] for 6 weeks, thanks to the HELP of my boyfriend = the goal was to stay sober, develop my relationship — not really something I’d “written down,” so to speak, but important to me — and see how the freelance thing and living with someone down there might be able to be made a permanent thing
7. GOT SOBER, thanks to the HELP of my readers and my boyfriend = sorta kinda, but 60 days is the longest I’ve ever gone, not to mention, I’ve had to work hard on the detox/withdrawal stages, opening up to AA, and training my mind to replace my cravings with basically everything else in life I’ve been avoiding or that have seemed to lose most of their luster
8. Lost weight = one of my ongoing goals is to run more and commit to bikram yoga, and I felt like, at least during my 6 weeks in [cold east coast city], I did that
They say that you shouldn’t make a lot of changes in your life when you’re trying to get sober. Well, I feel like I don’t have much choice. And, for me, the one major thing that helps me to stay sober is to remain busy; lacking goals and a sense of accomplishment is one of my biggest triggers, it seems.
So, there you have it. I’m tired and wanting to zone, so I’ll sign off. Yup, the craving is there but I’m just going to ignore it. Like the dishes, it’ll be there in the morning. (My mom always used to leave the dishes in the sink, saying, They’ll be there in the morning…)