Up for air

21 Dec

1:03 pm

I just wanted to come up for air and say, hello! I’m still here, and pretty much just working, living, and loving.

I haven’t posted in about a month! Mainly, I’ve been seriously busy working a part-time job and another full-time-ish one as a freelance writer. Partly, however, I must admit that I simply haven’t wanted to engage in what feels like alcoholic behavior: identifying AS my problem and relating things that are happening now to my past–in a circular way that doesn’t feel like it serves me anymore. One of my tricks to getting out of my bad moods is to ACT and not think. YES, it’s important to recognize when a thought is worth addressing and when it’s simply just a thought pattern that isn’t. I know that most of the time, the mood dips can be SOLVED, and don’t have to be embraced, analyzed, or even accepted.

I have a lot of work to do, so I’m going to just sign off. I know there is a huge post coming about what MUST be said: I’m coming to no longer identify with “being” an “alcoholic.” AND, the hard part, I’m finding: extracting myself from this mental situation. Yes, I had a problem and yes, I still have no desire to drink the way I drank and to be the way I was. That is a given. However, can I not hold that close and, simultaneously, not get agitated every time I try to approach it? I’m not sure.

Happy holidays week, all! I’ve missed you, I have to say! Time to start working through some of this weirdness.

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14 Responses to “Up for air”

  1. Chris December 21, 2014 at 12:18 pm #

    Have a great holiday season and thanks for your honesty, strength and kick ass postings!
    (432!)

  2. jenisthesoberist December 21, 2014 at 12:23 pm #

    I must say I am curious to hear more of what you mean, so I will be awaiting that post. πŸ™‚ I wish you the best in all of your endeavors. Happy Holidays, DDG!!! You rock!!

    • Drunky Drunk Girl December 21, 2014 at 1:09 pm #

      You rock! πŸ™‚ Yes, that’s a post that’s coming…in the next few weeks, time it takes me to figure out what I’m trying to say! Happy holidays to you, too!

  3. Running From the Booze December 21, 2014 at 1:14 pm #

    I totally get this. Prior to the AA/ recovery /12 step industry taking hold and being accepted as the one and only way to change, people found ways to change their habits and move forward. For me, blogging has been a way to work through my thoughts and feelings as I learned how to change and as I’ve read more about habitual behavior, dwelling on the habit has made me feel stuck. Good to hear from you DDG! πŸ™‚

  4. changingcoursenow December 21, 2014 at 1:52 pm #

    I recently posted on many of these same feelings. Feels like it is time to move forward but not ready to release all of my sober cyber friends. Nice to know we are all hear for each other when needed, but not feeling any obligations to “check in.” Happy Holidays DDG!

  5. thirstystill December 21, 2014 at 2:04 pm #

    I’m glad to hear you’re doing so well! It sounds like you’re onto some interesting things. I also think we each have to find our own way past the drinking problem, and the big “I am an alcoholic and I have the disease” model isn’t the only one that works. I wish there was more open conversation about that. Looking forward to what you have to say in that longer post! Happy holidays to you. xo

  6. SC December 21, 2014 at 4:13 pm #

    Hey! I’m with you. Labels are for canned food, not people. Looking forward to reading your big post!

    http://parkinglotpushups.wordpress.com/

  7. Anonymous December 21, 2014 at 7:50 pm #

    No matter what you do…stay sober…get drunk…people just love you! Because you have insight into it. Congrats to you. I think you are really smart.

  8. ainsobriety December 22, 2014 at 1:58 am #

    Im glad to hear you are doing well.

  9. Donna December 27, 2014 at 9:46 am #

    I’ve been busy and haven’t blogged in a while too! Yikes, where does the time go? Keep on keepin’ on – nice to hear from you in the blogosphere!

  10. Lisa Neumann December 27, 2014 at 1:08 pm #

    DDD, Life is just personal. Even when I splatter some of it on the blog, It’s still personal. I do it all alone in the privacy of my mind. I’m still learning when to put it out there an when to keep it silent. And I am still learning not to give a sh*t what others think. It’s my journey. I never think about nor talk alcohol or recovery in my private life. It has simply become a non-issue. After all, everyone has something (or many things) to work through in this earthly life. My job is to work through my stuff. And that’s all I try and do. I have truly enjoyed your blog and hope to stay in touch. You have always tugged at my heart … in the best of ways. Blessings for the coming year my friend, Me

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