Facebook-free 2017

8 Jan

11:23 am

Well, I’m doin’ it.  Finally.  It’s been 1 week and almost 4 days since I logged onto Facebook.  Like, I literally have not logged in.  I decided that “deactivating” was not the route I wanted to take (in quotes because one, do you really disappear on the back end, and two, all you have to do to “reactivate” your account is log back in!).

And you know what?  I feel good.  Like, really good.

Yes, I feel out of it; and, I’m not sure I can maintain such a distance from my professional sphere for THAT long–personal and professional are intricately intertwined in journalism, and probably other metiers, too.  I don’t mean or want to throw the baby out with the bathwater.  I don’t want to disappear–I still want a career, and to be present in said career.  And to be present in the world of information is to have it, and to dish it out.

That all being acknowledged (obsessively, over and over), I’m learning to let all these fearful thoughts go because, well, I feel better.

I must admit, I feel that sort of righteous self-satisfaction that is similar to how you feel when you get sober.  I also have this sense of a load having been taken off; I am no longer burdened with YOUR LIVES.  Other people’s lives.  So many other lives to ping me, enrage me, give me joy–I guess it was just too much, and I took it home with me.  Now, I just have this sense of relief, this screaming cheer in my head that keeps saying, I don’t have to take my friends home with me!  Haha.  I get to focus on MY life.  Sure, it’s boring as shit sometimes, but… it’s my life.  Isn’t it worth as much appreciation–time and effort–as I’ve been putting into other people’s lives?  (And, now I really do see how this is related to drinking to drown out:  you tend to put yourself second, then you feel un- or under-appreciated; not to mention, you have ZERO actual connection, and reciprocity, in your relationships if they are primarily virtual ones…all stuff that drives us to drink to soothe, fix, drown out, douse, hide from!  I say, No shit, sherlock, now, but back then, how everything was connected and impacted my drinking seemed so…inaccessible.)

I also think it’s given me the head space, literally, to start digging in on some personal writing projects.  And that digging in entails a lot of things that you forget, as a writer, are necessities to the creative process–one being the time and well, empty-headedness to actually think.  Or not think, as it were.  To conjure memories.  To dream up random plots, or have deeper thoughts that may have been buried, drowned out by all the incessant noise.  The chitter-chatter is gone, and it’s a relief.  The endless drone of increasingly source-less information (i.e., why the eff is THIS in my feed, and is it even real news?), over.

I decided NOT to deactivate because to me, that’s like giving the bird to your friends.  I mean, it’s rude.  It’s like, NO ONE keeps in touch via phone or email anymore, we all know this; so if you’re going to ghost but don’t mean to, at least have the courtesy to give people your “off Facebook” contact info.  Otherwise, you’re just ghosting.  That’s not what I want to gain from this–as it is, I feel guilty just “abandoning” some of my friends, i.e., not keeping up…  I just can’t anymore, is all.  And, it feels good, albeit a little scary, to let go.

I don’t know for how long this will be; maybe long enough to clear the cobwebs from my head, maybe longer.  I’m just going to keep going, and see where it takes me.  (Kind of like getting sober, no?)

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19 Responses to “Facebook-free 2017”

  1. Cristal Clear January 8, 2017 at 10:44 am #

    Yeah I just decided last night I had to get off social media for a bit . I caught my self scrolling for hours and not going to sleep at night when I need to because I’m always on my phone 🙄yeah here’s day 1 to no social media. It’s crazy how we can be addicted to this nonsense . I’m going for February. Maybe march ! We will see . Good luck to u 😎

  2. ksusier January 8, 2017 at 11:34 am #

    I tried to respond on your blog, but I had to log in???

    I totally agree! It is frustrating to always be comparing myself to everyone else.

    On Sun, Jan 8, 2017 at 8:23 AM, Drunky Drunk Girl wrote:

    > Drunky Drunk Girl posted: “11:23 am Well, I’m doin’ it. Finally. It’s > been 1 week plus going-on 4 days since I logged onto Facebook. Like, I > literally have not logged in. I decided that “deactivating” was not the > route I wanted to take (in quotes because one, do you really dis” >

  3. dpallee January 8, 2017 at 12:08 pm #

    I did something similar-4 days free of Facebook for me-albeit, mine was a forced decision, as I was banned from Facebook for posting what they deemed an inappropriate image. You’re right-it does feel good. You go back and look at a lot of the lame stuff you found entwining you with pseudo interest and now it makes it so much easier to ignore. I do keep it to post links to my blog updates or whenever I publish new pages on my webcomic but staying off the normal trough of feeds has made life a bit calmer for me.

  4. Renee January 8, 2017 at 2:22 pm #

    Social media is both a great resource and at times for me, a source of comparing my life to others. Even though I know the reality of what is posted are simple moments of each other’s lives. Sometimes I have to step back when I find myself wondering, Why doesn’t my life look that good.

  5. ainsobriety January 8, 2017 at 2:27 pm #

    I left quit a few Facebook groups this year.
    It’s definitely a time sucker.

  6. Rebecca A. Watson January 8, 2017 at 2:51 pm #

    Curious to hear how it turns out for you. I’m definitely addicted to it. Right now I’m trying to limit my use but wondering if that’s just postponing the inevitable. Keep us updated on your creative progress and how you manage.

    • Drunky Drunk Girl January 9, 2017 at 9:45 am #

      Good to hear from you, and thanks–will definitely keep you posted!

  7. Heidi January 8, 2017 at 3:07 pm #

    Wow. I did the same thing. I removed the app from my phone, and logged out on my computer. Today i felt ‘guilty’ to my friends, so i logged on again. I didn’t miss much, but i did realise it’s not what i need in my life. So i logged out again. Thank you for posting this, i now know i’m doing the right thing.

  8. moderndaygirlsober January 8, 2017 at 4:49 pm #

    It’s very time consuming social media. Good on you for taking *a break* from it… even if you don’t deactivate all good. It’s almost more tantalizing to re*activate it than to just delete the app and not check it lol

  9. daisy4leafclover January 8, 2017 at 5:55 pm #

    I logged off a couple of months ago, best thing I ever did but it makes me much more aware of how much time my daughter and hubby waste on it.

  10. carrieonsober January 8, 2017 at 6:12 pm #

    I quit Facebook about 3 years ago
    Utterly liberating- have never looked back and yet to miss out on anything significant
    It’s just way too intrusive
    Good luck enjoy the peace
    Carrie

    • Drunky Drunk Girl January 9, 2017 at 9:47 am #

      Great to hear from you! Wow, that is so awesome to hear. Did it coincide with you getting sober, or was it a separate thing (just got sick of it)? I think it HELPS my sobriety, my state of mind, in general. And, spot on: utterly liberating. Miss you! xx

  11. girl undrunk January 8, 2017 at 10:53 pm #

    Same! I haven’t deactivated either bc I have to go on there to get info sometimes. I am so much happier! I’ve read several articles that say people not on FB feel happier and MORE connected. I’ve definitely found that to be true!

    • Drunky Drunk Girl January 9, 2017 at 9:48 am #

      Good for you! Huh, happier and more connected…that’s so interesting. Thanks for this!

  12. shehidbehindtheglass January 9, 2017 at 1:06 pm #

    It really can be a timewaster! I had to steer clear of it during the first month of sobriety because I found it so completely overwhelming (and I guess from doing internet searches in sobriety, etc I got a ton of facebook ads for booze related stuff!)

  13. Laice January 25, 2017 at 1:56 am #

    I just did the same thing about two weeks ago and feel such relief!! It was like a constant distraction from other things I should really be focussing on in my life. It was definitely tied in with getting sober (111 days today) as I’ve got the confidence now that alcohol had stripped away to just not care what anyone thinks if I’m not on Facebook. I mean, real friends are real friends no matter what! Thanks for your blog by the way it has been a help to me in my staying sober 😄💜

  14. antsyangler January 29, 2017 at 3:47 am #

    I started doing Facebook Friday a few months back. I had taken to calling Facebook “Facesuck” because it sucks your face in, and also for the sometimes sucky content. So now I only check into Facebook on Fridays. Actually, I’ve slipped up a bit with that recently. I am glad to read this post and get a bit of inspiration to get back to my Facebook Friday schedule. Reading things there lately is just depressing and angering. I can save up looking at the things I really want to see for Friday after work. It’s kind of a nice end of week treat that way, which I look forward to in my new sobriety (150 days!).

    Anyway, good for you! It’s nice to come up for air and get one’s face back.

    • Drunky Drunk Girl January 29, 2017 at 11:56 am #

      Haha…this is great! Yes, it sucks my face, my soul, all of it. I still haven’t logged on–complete absence except for using messenger once in a while–since Dec. 28, and I feel 100% fine. The only thing is, I feel like I should get back into it, like I’m willfully ignoring the “real world.” Have to keep telling myself that that is a delusion…the real world, IRL, as it were, is right here. Being offline is helping me to stay peaceful, and focused–and I’m not giving that up for knowing what’s going on in randoms’ lives! Thanks for your comment…

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